Lil Shar, Big Stage

Fat Bitches Be Sangin

2008-12-18T13:30:00.003-06:00

This is it, ladies and gentlemen.

These past few weeks of me not posting anything on here have been spent seeing shows and friends that I won't have the opportunity to see again for, at best, a long time.

I leave Chicago on Saturday morning and thus have no intentions of updating this blog again, unless I am in fact able to move back out here - be it this summer as an intern or after graduation for the rest of my life.

If either of those wishes come true, you'll know, and perhaps you'll find some more ramblings here to waste your time on.

I don't think I need to say too much in summary of this life-changing semester, as you all know how happy it made me.

Instead, I'd like to narcissistically end this whole thing with a few screencaps featuring myself from the DVD of our Monday night performance (which I will probably be forcing you to watch awkwardly and repeatedly at some point in the near future).

The semester technically ended with a pizza party, but I don't feel like doing a Google image search for pictures of pizza right now, so let's all just pretend that the semester ended with our class show and agree to close this blog out the same way.

Thank you all for reading.

Peace.

All That Really Mattered Was Tuesday

2008-11-30T16:30:00.003-06:00

I need to brag about Tuesday evening now.

I can’t remember if I’ve explained this on here before or not, so, quickly, one of my teachers is on one of the best teams (The Reckoning) at iO, and I’ve been going to their shows every Tuesday and Thursday night basically all semester.

Accordingly, I almost wet myself when I found out Tuesday afternoon that they were going to be joined that night by Ike Barinholtz of MadTV (I know, I know, but this guy actually turned out to be really funny, and I’m not being sarcastic), Tim Meadows, and John Lutz from Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock. We got our hands on some tickets before it was too late and I don’t know if I’ve ever been so impressed by an improv show.

They did a phenomenal 45-minute set, took a break, and then did another 45-minute set, this time joined by two other original members of The Reckoning, Brad Morris (who does Uncle’s Brother) and Pat O’Brien, who have both been unable to perform with their old team for quite some time due to their busy schedules as Second City Mainstage cast members.

In both sets, even with such a high number of people on stage simultaneously and even with so much star power in the group, everyone participated equally and everyone was hilarious. Whether you know much about improvisation or not, I hope you understand that what happened that night was special, to me at least.

I think the best way to convey to you all how much fun I had at this show is to share the somewhat darker truth. No bullshit: this show was so good that I actually felt a strong but weird combination of sad and pissed off when it was over. I think what really happened is I realized just how much I am going to miss being in Chicago, having these kinds of opportunities and living this lifestyle. Less than three weeks left for me here, people. It's sickening.

On a happier note, while waiting for my peoples to make their way downstairs so we could leave, Tim Meadows walked by me on his way out. He wasn’t with anyone and we made eye contact so I felt compelled to do it.

“Great show, man,” I said.

“Thanks,” he said in his Tim Meadows voice as he exited the building.

Moments later I watched as he walked down the street alone. It was late, and I had the sudden urge to give chase and try robbing him for something only Tim Meadows could possess, i.e. a flash drive with the first draft of The Ladies Man on it, or a personal memory of something that happened involving only him and his good friend Chris Farley.

You’re all pretty much caught up now.

Tomorrow marks the start of our final week of classes, and I use that term loosely at this point because the majority of our time from now on will be spent rehearsing.

Next Monday and Tuesday we have our preview and showcase. Wednesday afternoon we have a pizza party and the dream semester officially comes to an end.

Talk to you sometime between now and then, maybe.

Presentation Pictures

2008-11-30T15:45:00.002-06:00

On Tuesday morning we had those final presentations I mentioned a couple of posts ago. It was a pretty fun morning, aside from the fact that we collectively screwed up big time by all believing that we were supposed to start at 10, and not 9. My prediction is that we are all looking at an automatic letter-grade drop for that mishap. Oh well. Anyways, most of the pictures that were taken turned out poorly, but I’ll share some of them with you nonetheless.

We'll start with some pictures of Jordan and I silently performing a series of actions for Adam's presentation. His topic was Foley Artists so he was on the other side of the stage making the sound effects of us...

Getting sick on an airplane.

Eating popcorn at a movie (picture taken shortly before I (un)intentionally grab Jordan's crotch).

Getting gay married.

Moving on, Jordan's topic was puppetry, and he wrote a scene about a therapist who relies on a puppet to try and help his patient (played by Luke).

The puppet is a rotisserie chicken.

Those ping-pong balls are the eyes.

The patient didn't particularly care for this puppet so he beat the hell out of it for 30 seconds to a minute. This was one of the most inexplicably hilarious things I have seen in a long time. Those are chicken parts all over the floor.

I don't know when or how Luke's shirt came undone, but watching him gasp for air with his chest exposed and chicken parts all around them was also a classic visual to me.

And now for the documentation of my presentation, which I think went really well.

My topic was costume design so I wrote a scene about three male strippers. This is Ethan, playing the role of veteran stripper Kyle, whose stage name is Doctor Dick, a.k.a. the Surgeon Genital.

Luke played the role of one of the new guys, Danny, whose stage name is Grandma Girthtacular.

Adam played the role of the other new guy, Brad, whose stage name is Baby Big Balls. To clarify, Adam is wearing a diaper.

The bickering over whose stripper costume is sexier is starting to heat up at this point.

ETHAN: I don’t know buddy. I’m definitely familiar with the concept of MILFs, but, uh, I’ve never heard of BILFs.

ADAM: Do what now?

ETHAN: A BILF. A baby I’d like to fuck. I’m not so sure that that fetish actually exists.

ADAM: Are you kidding me? Women love babies. Why else do you think they have them all the time?

(a little later on)

ADAM: Oh like the panties drop ‘cause you dress like a surgeon?

ETHAN: Women get naked for doctors all the time. Haven’t you ever heard of fake tits?

LUKE: Guys, cool it. I think all of us have great costumes. My only issue with you, Brad, is that I was here first.

ADAM: What the hell does that have to do with anything?

LUKE: You’re stealing a key element of my gimmick.

LUKE: I can’t play a convincing old lady without wearing a diaper for the incontinence. But I also can’t have you stealing my thunder. I should have exclusive rights to the diaper bit, because I was here first.

ETHAN: Technically I was here first.

ETHAN: Basically goes without saying that no good surgeon would ever abandon a patient mid-procedure to go take a shit.

ETHAN: There’s clearly only one way to handle this. We have to work together. Function as a three-man team.

ETHAN: We’ll call ourselves The Poo-Pants Group.

Yeah, you wish I had taken video.

Last Weekend (Part 3 of 3)

2008-11-29T13:50:00.004-06:00

Sunday was basically spent saying goodbye to David, napping, watching TV, and trying to find a homeless person to give left over Harold’s Chicken to until it was time for us to go see Uncle’s Brother (Tim Meadows and mainstage cast members Brad Morris and Joe Canale) at iO.

Anyone who has been reading this blog with any kind of regularity knows that I’m obsessed with Uncle’s Brother.

This time was extra special though, and not just because I had Dem Homies Dat Keep It Gangsta But Also Like To Sew On The Weekend For Fun Productions sitting with me.

This already amazing group of improvisers was joined by some guy whose name I can’t recall from UCB theater out in L.A., and also by Wyatt Cenac, who you may recognize from The Daily Show.

Guy whose name I can’t remember held his own and was fine.

Wyatt Cenac brought the house down in every single scene he was in and made me understand why he has a job with The Daily Show. He was unbelievably funny and made this particular evening a truly excellent experience.

That’s all I got for last weekend. My guess is that it probably doesn’t seem as nuts as I had led you to believe it would be by breaking it down into three separate posts. Well just you wait until you see the forthcoming post about this past school week.

Last Weekend (Part 2 of 3)

2008-11-28T14:30:00.001-06:00

Saturday wasn’t quite as action-packed as Friday was, so this will be quick.

Basically, we spent the majority of our day just waiting to eat lunch at Gino’s East, a popular deep-dish pizza place located just off Michigan Avenue. We got our table pretty much immediately after arriving, but for whatever reason, it took much longer for us to get our pizzas than the standard 45 minutes we were told it would be.

A few of the things I felt like we may have been missing between our arrival and our food’s arrival: our college graduation, Barack Obama’s first term as president, the birth of my never-wanted child, and a championship season for the Cubs (things got really loud in there for a little bit).

All complaints aside, here’s what you need to know about Saturday: shortly after we sat down at Gino’s, two girls approached our booth. These weren’t just any ordinary Chicago girls. These were, in my estimation, the most stereotypical rising ninth-grade girls one could imagine. They had braces and wore too much makeup. At least one of them was wearing Ugg boots.

They kicked off this inexplicable exchange by giggling awkwardly. Brad greeted them partly out of courtesy but mostly out of curiosity, and that’s when they asked if they could take a picture with us. We realized that a woman we assumed to be one of their mothers was standing eagerly nearby with camera in hand, and without really asking for more information like we should have, we complied. The Miley Cyrus wannabes joined us in our booth, one on each side. The picture was taken, they said thanks, returned to their table and then left the restaurant shortly thereafter.

As a result, we spent the first half of our eternal pizza wait trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. A lot of hypotheses were formed, proposed, and dismissed. We decided that there was no scavenger hunt going on. There were no dares being made. These girls weren’t just boy-crazy. There is only one plausible explanation for this occurrence.

The fact of the matter is that these girls looked at us, then each other, then back at us, then back at each other, and at that point, the short one turned to the awkwardly already really tall one and said:

“Hey, like, is that Dem Homies Dat Keep It Gangsta But Also Like To Sew On The Weekends For Fun Productions, like, sitting over there?”

“Um, yah,” the awkwardly already really tall one replied. “I freakin’ love their music even though I’ve, like, never heard it. Let’s go get a picture with them. Mom, get the cam-rah.”

And so it was.

The rest of the day consisted of us agreeing that DHDKIGBALTSOTWFFP had officially arrived on the scene, talking about what we should have said or done during this bizarre incident, and exploring every abandoned inch of Navy Pier while the rest of the people in this city wasted their time not freezing their nuts off.

Last Weekend (Part 1 of 3)

2008-11-27T14:30:00.001-06:00

Straight up: Club Shar was hoppin’ this past weekend.

D-Orr visited all the way from North Carolina Thursday evening through Sunday afternoon, and the other three members of my hip-hop super-group, Dem Homies Dat Keep It Gangsta But Also Like To Sew On The Weekends For Fun Productions, were here Friday night through Sunday night.

I probably don't even need to say any more in order for you all to understand that a fun and ridiculous weekend was had by all; but I will.

Here’s how this is going to work. I’m gonna give each day its own post in an effort to make it easier for anyone actually reading this shit to get through it all.

So, starting with Friday night, we went to a preview for the new e.t.c. show and it made us all laugh rather hard.

Hey lady in the green shirt sitting three rows behind us at that show, if you’re out there reading this, I just want you to know that I sincerely hated your guts and I think everyone else in the building that night did too. I’d be willing to bet that your shitty behavior during that show was typical of you, and I have pity for everyone that has to hear you run your mouth so endlessly and stupidly on a regular basis.

I apologize to everyone (except for said dumbass) for polluting this blog with such an angry rant. I just really felt the need to talk trash to somebody who is pretty much guaranteed never to see it.

Back to happier things.

After the show, we made our way over to Wrigleyville and consumed some of those gigantic pizza slices I’ve posted pictures of on here before. The main thing to know about this adventure is that after we ate, we decided to take a lap around Wrigley Field before getting back on the train. During probably the most isolated and least illuminated stretch of this lap, we crossed paths with a scrawny, bespectacled college guy who appeared to be heavily intoxicated. I’m really not kidding when I say that I think this guy was trying to get robbed.

Holding valuables in one hand, he put the other up as if to stop us, said hey, and then as we continued to walk past him, turned to us and yelled, “That’s it?”

I’m only kind of sure that I then heard him spit at us, but I know for a fact that we saw him, five minutes later, purposely turning left off of the sidewalk in order to stumble down an alley where hopefully, some other large group of guys would be waiting to beat the hell out of him and take all of his belongings.

Enjoy your holiday everyone. Parts 2 and 3 will both be up before the weekend is over.

Just The Edumacational Parts

2008-11-24T20:30:00.001-06:00

Sorry for the delay; this weekend was nuts. I’ll get to that in the next post, which should be up sometime tomorrow or later this week, depending on what else I have going on.

For now, I’ll just bring ya’ll up to speed on the “academic” highlights I’ve had since the last time I updated this junk.

- Last Thursday, we each pitched an idea for an original sitcom and a possible pilot episode to go with it. I based mine on my father’s time spent working as a librarian. This assignment was difficult but intriguing. I just wish we could have had more time to improve upon our ideas.

- On Friday we had tech rehearsals for our final presentations in Context. It would be a pain in the ass to explain the whole assignment here, so I’ll refrain, but all you really need to know is that I wrote a scene about three male strippers bickering over each others stage costumes. This went quite well and was really fun to watch at the run-through on Friday, so I’m pumped for the actual performance tomorrow morning. I may try to take pictures, but I can’t make any promises on that.

- This morning for Physical and Vocal Training, I performed Mooj’s monologue/rant of increasingly perverse sex acts from The 40-Year-Old Virgin. The assignment was to learn and try to replicate an authentic accent or dialect from any movie of our choice, and I chose to go with the route that enabled me to say things like “butthole pleasures” and “alligator fuck house.” Real school is going to be such a major adjustment.

- We put together a tentative running order for our show today. For the time being, it looks like my stage time will consist of rapping, messing with an audience member or two, doing some backup singing with the rest of the ensemble, and maybe throwing a few lines out here and there in some larger cast scenes. Things are definitely subject to change though so we’ll see what happens. We also named our show today. “Hot Women and Children First” emerged victorious, with “Poop, Rape, Bears” falling in the final round of voting.

That’s really all I have for now. Besides, I better get back to memorizing. For other people’s pieces tomorrow, I am playing the roles of Tom Brokaw, the bully in an unhealthy gay relationship, and a beat poet/rapper. Typecasting all around.

So This Is What Concise Feels Like

2008-11-14T15:00:00.000-06:00

This week felt like one big blur, so I’m afraid the details are going to be pretty sparse here, boys and girls.

- Stand-up on Wednesday was a lot of fun. As expected, a variety of comedic styles were on display and I was thoroughly entertained. I think my set went okay. My newest joke, which I referred to in my previous post, probably got the biggest laughs out of all my stuff so that felt good.

- We did one material-generating exercise for a combined six hours between Tuesday and Thursday mornings. For my group, this culminated in a piece about Jesus being a cocky asshole towards all of his friends as they perform a bunch of random hobby-like activities until they eventually get so pissed at and annoyed by him that they resort to crucifixion. Historical accuracy is always a top priority.

- Sticking with the theme of the way things really went down, while continuing to put our show together this week, we re-hashed an improv scene I was in a few weeks ago that basically demonstrated how/why Abe Lincoln really died. This one might make it in, so I don’t want to give anything away, but I will say that you can go ahead and forget about whatever bullshit explanation of his assassination you were given in school.

Also with regards to putting the show together, I submitted three (ideas for) songs, and, as a result, I very well may have screwed myself out of being on stage for anything other than rapping. I’m not saying my comedic acting skills are better than my abilities as a lyricist, but I came here for comedy; Hip-Hop Studies is next semester.

Time Flies When Your Roommate Has Mono

2008-11-09T13:20:00.005-06:00

First and foremost, shouts out to the boy J-Haynes, a beloved roommate and the star of the “Getting A Shavejob” video I posted here back in September. Homey was getting his ass kicked by an awful strep throat/mono combination, so he’s back in Arkansas trying to get healthy. We miss you man. Keep your head up, your airways open, and your heart beating, and get back here ASAP so you can bring the house down with us in four weeks.

Yes that’s right, people. There are only four weeks left in this program. I don’t know about you, but I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by.

We just started really getting into the process of putting our show together on Wednesday, but we are also finishing up big projects and doing other random things in various classes.

Here’s a quick recap of this past week.

- On Wednesday, we walked around the neighborhood and did slapstick (falling, catching each other, wrestling, etc), as well as just some other bizarre behavior - such as all running around and hiding at the same time, or standing on the steps leading up to this Abe Lincoln statue and doing our best impressions of it. It was pretty fun, especially in the instances where other people seemed captivated by what we were doing or showed genuine concern for those who fell.

- Also on Wednesday, as I mentioned above, we began putting our show together finally. Everyone gets to bring in two things they have written that they want our instructor for improv/show director to see. We do read-throughs, he gives notes for rewrites, and I honestly don’t know for sure what will be happening from there. I brought in my Spencer’s sketch, though, which he seemed to not completely hate. I haven’t had my second submission read yet, which works out well because I’m not sure what I want that second submission to be.

Here’s a fun little reader interaction opportunity: if you have read my brief descriptions on here of all the sketches I’ve been writing each week and there was one (or more) that made you giggle or one (or more) that you think you might want to see when I force you to watch the DVD of our show, leave a comment recommending that I bring that one in to be read. It should be noted that I think Michael is going to bring in the scene we wrote together with the other Daniel about the dueling preachers on a train, so exclude that one from your requests/suggestions.

- On Thursday, we had our (supposed to be) 15-minute newscast. I include supposed to be because every single group went over, but my group took the cake with an embarrassing 23-minute-long presentation.

Anyways, they split us into three teams of five and gave us a week to put together a Daily Show/Weekend Update type of program. We were required to have some headline news jokes, at least one breaking news or on the scene report, an editorial or point-counterpoint, a correspondent piece of some sort, and a long-term feature piece (like a “60 minutes” type of story).

I don’t know exactly what the other groups’ processes were, but the members of our group each took on the responsibility of writing one segment, and then whomever was needed for the performances stepped in and helped out when the time came.

I ended up writing a long-term feature piece that was basically a mock exposé by an idiotic reporter named Lyle Barndoozey who agrees with his African-American and Hispanic interview subjects that the Make A Wish foundation is racist. The satirical point of view (which is one of the main things we’ve been hit over the head with all semester) was that the race card gets played too much. I think it was a well-written piece and I want to commit it to film at some point, since that’s really what it is best suited for. I’ll be the first to admit, though, that in its current form, it had no business being put up live and with four people playing nine characters. Yikes indeed.

- Looking forward now, we are all going to be performing stand-up in class on Wednesday. I think this is going to be a lot of fun, because so many of my classmates have never even thought of doing stand-up, and there are just generally a lot of very interesting personalities in the group. I’m also looking forward to telling a new, decently long joke I just wrote and seeing how well that goes over.

That about does it. I need to get back to work on this script I'm writing about three male strippers arguing over who’s (ridiculous) get-up is sexier and why. The impetus for this is a final project that requires me to put together a piece that is heavily tied to costume design in some way. If you are at all familiar with what Second City does, you know that costumes are used somewhat sparingly and are not an integral part of very many scenes at all. In this instance, the scene I am writing has everything to do with what the actors are actually wearing.

Or not wearing.

Just kidding.

Or am I?

Very Briefly

2008-11-01T15:20:00.001-05:00

I don't have much to tell ya'll. I mainly just wanted to quickly respond to the comments left on my last post.

Ross, I don't take a whole lot of notes out here (not as many as I should, anyway) but you are more than welcome to look at what I do have. Also, let's see if we can't entertain the people of Columbia together when I get back, eh?

Mom, Dad, I'm so proud of both of you for figuring out how to leave comments on here all by yourselves. For that, you both earn shoutouts.

The Lupe show last night was everything I hoped it would be and more. I just put all my pictures on Facebook and tried to make it so that everyone can see them, even if we aren't friends on there or you don't have an account. The links:

Album 1

Album 2

Let me know if you want to see these pictures but are unable to, and I will post some of the best ones on here.

Other than that, all I really have to tell ya'll is that I was walking home from Walgreens around 1 a.m. and as I passed a bar, this guy in a really sweet Larry Bird costume (complete with an authentic Indiana State jersey and short shorts) got down in a defensive stance and stayed in front of me until I shook him with a spin move cross-over combination.

I Want It To Be Friday

2008-10-29T18:00:00.000-05:00

I can’t really think of too much to tell you guys right now. Every 10 to 15 seconds, my mind reverts back to the fact that I’m seeing Lupe Fiasco perform in his hometown on Halloween – the same day he is supposed to be making some sort of big announcement. My excitement level for this show has got to be unhealthy in some way.

Anyways, nothing too major happened this week.

- In improv on Monday, every exercise and scene that we did was either inspired by our teachers here, or it required us to play characters based on exaggerated aspects of ourselves or based on one another. It was an absolute blast to see people’s impressions of each other, and I especially enjoyed hearing our teacher laugh hard at certain moments because he has obviously noticed the same shit we have and has probably been thinking the same things as us all along. I was only impersonated by one person (Ethan), and I loved it. He nailed me for being a pessimist and a Lupe Fiasco fanatic who is equally obsessed with seeing free improv shows.

- My group put up our archived scenes we’d been working on for our acting class and I guess that went pretty well. For those of you who have been rocking with me since RJR, I debuted the Hawaiian cammo hat. Nobody here had seen it before, so I put it on backstage before making my entrance a minute or two into the scene. I was playing an obnoxious younger brother, and while I think I may have rushed through my lines, it’s safe to say that the hat killed.

- We didn’t have to write new sketches this week; we’re just bringing in a rewrite tomorrow. Once I get this post up, it’s back to polishing the rehab sketch I wrote at the end of September.

- There are a couple of hefty assignments on the horizon that I need to get started on sooner rather than later. This list is more for me to organize myself than it is to amuse you all, so feel free to skip over it.

Fable in five lines for Monday, idea for real-life drama of a character (real or fictional) for Monday, pitch for an episode of either “The Honeymooners” or “I Love Lucy” for Monday, work Neil Simon scenes next week, 15 minute “Daily Show”/“Weekend Update” style piece with group for Thursday, costume design scene tech rehearsal on the 21st.

Alright that’s really all I can think of. Other than that, I just can’t wait to actualize my planned Halloween costume of the guy standing front and center at the Lupe show rapping every single word and loving life.

Everybody be safe and have a good one.

I'm Procrastinating

2008-10-22T19:00:00.001-05:00

I should be working ahead on a paper right now, but I really don’t feel like doing it, so I thought I’d just give ya’ll another update.

- This is just a quick correction I meant to make last time but forgot. In reference to TJ & Dave, only TJ has appeared in Sonic commercials (as the blondish guy in the passenger seat). Dave hasn’t been in any Sonic commercials, but you still might recognize him if you saw him as he has been in quite a few movies (such as Groundhog Day) and TV Shows (such as Curb Your Enthusiasm). Tonight will only be our second time seeing them perform so we’re all really excited.

- Things have gotten somewhat out of control in our improv class this week.

On Monday, we were doing an exercise where each character, at some point in the scene, had to make some sort of change to his or her actual clothing (no mime bullshit) in a purposeful way that would also affect the action of the scene. About a minute or two in to my group’s turn, I took my belt off. Matt (the other one, not the one I worked with on the airplane sketch) matched this move and then heightened it by dropping his pants to his ankles. Our characters in the scene were competing, so off came my hoody and my shirt. The rest of the scene was improvised with my pasty atrocity of a torso exposed under the stage lighting, and at one point, I hugged homeboy with pants around his ankles. I’m not proud of the fact that all this happened, I just thought you all deserved to know.

Today we were working on stylistic scenes where the action right at the beginning would be the jumping off point for some major moment in the central character’s life. When we do exercises like this, we are typically given about a minute to talk with our groups about whatever few specifics we are allowed to pre-plan. In this case, we were just supposed to pick the basic action that was happening and the style. We weren’t exactly full of ideas. I jokingly suggested that we (a group of four guys and one girl) do a scene about a circle jerk. Someone else said something about a closet full of poop and the idea quickly became that we do a scene in the style of a romantic comedy where all the guys are having a circle jerk around a fresh pile of feces when the girl walks in and falls in love with one of us because she also happens to get off on doo-doo. Childish? You bet. Disgusting? Absolutely. Good time? Duh. It’s a circle jerk around a fresh pile of feces.

- There was a crazy guy preaching loudly to us on the train the whole way to the show Sunday night. We took an audio recording of him, I took a picture (which you’ll find below), and the other Daniel, my roommate Michael, and I just wrote our ensemble scene using this guy and this setting, just with a rival preacher (Brother Jed for all you Mizzou people) thrown into the mix.

- Here are two photos I took of Tim Meadows and Second City mainstage performer/one of our many idols Brad Morris after the show Sunday night. Our experience there, of course, was of a much higher quality than these images are.

- Here is the video footage of the ImprovEverywhere mission I talked about in my last post. I don’t appear in this video at all (that I can see) but check it out anyway to experience some confusion.

Alright. I’m gonna try and buckle down now. Talk to ya’ll next week sometime.

Ya Boy Is Back

2008-10-19T19:10:00.000-05:00

I’m still alive, people.

These last two weeks have been really intense, mostly in a good way. Today was the first day since I last updated that I had no other obligations to keep me from writing this.

A lot has happened since I last posted. I can hardly think of most of it right now, so this is going to be somewhat brief considering the amount of stuff I could be sharing with ya’ll here. I did take a couple of (mostly pointless) pictures over these last two weeks so brace yourself for those.

- I’ll just go ahead and make the blanket statement that all those shows I was anticipating and looking forward to in my last post were just as good as expected, if not better. We’re seeing Tim Meadows and co. again tonight, and hopefully TJ & Dave again this Wednesday.

- Charles B and Kristina came up and had a good time last weekend. We walked around a lot and ate even more. We almost got robbed in China Town. No joke. Overall though, I think everyone enjoyed the visit. Here are some of those really meaningless pictures I took, a couple of which prove that I had visitors.

There are a few cars completely filled with junk just like this and they stay parked further down my street. I always thought it was some sort of weird art project or something, but we were walking over to the lake and we found this guy sleeping. Brad zoomed in on this the other night and now I'd like to hear what ya'll think; what's in homeboy's hand?

This is spray-painted on the sidewalk multiple times. Gotta love big cities.

I can't guarantee that you aren't catching hepatitis just by looking at this picture. Whatever the hell this is exactly, it was sitting on the boardwalk.

The contrasting beauty when looking up instead of down and seeing what's in the image above.

Picture of a picture-in-the-making.

Charles B gives Lake Michigan two thumbs up.

The dude ate a full lunch at Cheesecake Factory and then got about one and a half slices of cheesecake down. Sickening and impressive.

- Brad left early this morning. He was here for what has easily been the most impressive streak of consecutive nights with amazing performances that I’ve ever been able to attend - though he’s missing night four tonight with the Tim Meadows show. I seriously might have entertainment withdrawals tomorrow with nothing spectacular to see.

Anyways, Brad was with me at iO on Thursday night as The Reckoning (an extremely popular improv team that happens to feature one of my teachers) put on what I feel was their best performance out of all the times I have seen them.

We went to the e.t.c. show on Friday night and were treated to over an hour and a half of new sketches that they are working on for the next revue, as well as a few of the strongest pieces from the technically current show we thought we were going to be seeing. Almost all of it was really strong and I can’t wait to see how these pieces develop and become even better. Saturday night was…

- Louis CK. This show was so incredible that it gets its own dash here. I think Michael put it best when he described the man as a comedy machine. Louis did an hour and twenty-five minutes of brand new material (that sounded like he’d been crafting it for years) and then came back to the stage for an encore, telling every last new joke he has, before taking requests and performing some of his classic bits for us. For those of you who are less familiar with stand-up comedy, trust me when I tell you that this is a truly remarkable feat. Here are a couple of shitty pictures that I took during the encore that make it look like we were a lot farther away than we were.

The theater was “packed all the way to the colored’s-only section,” as Louis put it, and we were sitting dead center, maybe ten rows back on a couch. I don’t think the experience could have been any better.

- For my “three-person scene” two weeks ago, I wrote a sketch based on my driver’s ed experiences and some of the people that were in there with me. It got a decent response (our teacher liked it more than the class did, I think) but I didn’t have very much fun with it because I challenged myself to write a sketch that was completely devoid of profanity and/or blue humor. All of my other sketches at that point had been either pretty dirty throughout, extremely dirty at times, or extremely dirty throughout, and I just wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t need to be dirty or grotesque to write a decent sketch. I pulled it off I guess, but the process was considerably less enjoyable than it usually is for me, so fuck that shit, I’ma be dirty as a crackwhore’s asshole from now on. I should have kept that thought to myself, probably. Oh well. What’s up potential employers.

- For my “four-person scene” this past week, I got to work with Matt (the star of the candid party video I posted probably a month ago) and we wrote a sketch about a southern gay flight attendant who wants to hijack the plane he works on, his grandmother the unwitting accomplice, an undercover U.S. Marshal posing as a drunken cougar, and an Arab man who is afraid of flying. Hey-O. Look out. We’re so whacky. Even though it’s definitely sort of lame, we had fun writing it. Not so much fun was had during the read-through however, in large part because we had so many complicated stage directions, and also because there are some major changes that need to be made to all four of the characters, basically. I think we’ll re-write for sure.

- I did an ImprovEverywhere mission a few weeks ago. Here are some lady’s photos of the event. I’m not in any of these pictures, but I was there. It’s hard to explain in text what all occurred, but I believe there will be videos posted soon and I’ll be sure to link to those on here. In the meantime, just know that it was easily among the most random and bizarre experiences I have ever had and I’m so glad that I did it.

If anyone actually cared, I’m sorry I didn’t write anything here for so long. It won’t be another two weeks before I update again, but this is all for now. Peace out.

Gettin Snotty Wid It

2008-10-03T13:40:00.002-05:00

This week has been great even though I’ve been battling a cold these last few days.

Unfortunately, the health issues are making it hard for me to really remember very many details about the week, but here’s what I got for you.

- On Sunday night, we bought tickets for the mainstage show primarily to guarantee ourselves seats for the special surprise that one of our teachers was kind enough to let us in on ahead of time. The current mainstage performers finished doing their show and took seats right in front of us; a bunch of other people I’ve seen perform around the city filed in.

For the next hour, we were all in the same boat as we sat in awe and laughed our asses off while the mainstage cast from 68-72 (minus a few – namely Belushi) performed some of their best scenes, at no extra charge.

Every single one of you should know who Harold Ramis is. I suspect quite a few of you would also recognize Joe Flaherty. These guys are slightly less famous, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve seen Brian Doyle-Murray, Jim Fisher, or Jim Staahl. Click the names to see their IMDB pages and achieve full jealousy of my experience.

Here’s Second City’s short press release with two pictures from the performance if you'd rather just look at that.

Our teacher told us that this type of thing almost never happens, so we are all really psyched that we had the privilege to be present for such a rare occasion.

- This week, we had to write a “clash-of-context” sketch, which is basically where you take the circumstances of one situation and apply them to another. For example, I wrote mine about an auction at an orphanage. The read-through went fine. I mean how could it not? There’s always humor to be found in abandonment, human trafficking, slavery, pedophilia, and transsexuals. I’m going to go back and rework this one some more for sure though.

- Next Wednesday, we’ll be seeing what is probably the most highly praised improv show in the city – TJ & Dave. These are in fact the guys from the Sonic commercials, but around here, they are much more famous for this two-man show they have been doing at iO for the last six years. We’re all very eager to see what the hype is about.

- Next Sunday, we’ll be seeing a show at iO featuring Tim Meadows and two of the guys currently on Second City’s mainstage. Have I mentioned how much I love being here lately?

Life is about to get really busy for me.

There’s all these shows I’m lucky enough to be attending. I, of course, have another sketch to write this week. I’ve got three classic Second City scenes to memorize and perform for my acting class by the week after next. Believe it or not, I also have a paper due the week after next, as well as some other assignments that are actually more on the academic side of things than the creative side, unfortunately.

What’s especially cool about all this but also brings the issue of time management to the forefront is the fact that Club Shar will be hosting visitors for both of the next two weekends. By the way, if you haven't booked your visit to Club Shar yet, you best get on that.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I don’t know how often or effectively I’ll be able to update for ya’ll here over these next two weeks or so.

When I get an opportunity though, I promise I’ll try to brag about how all the shows were and maybe get some visitor testimonials up so that other people can also brag about how much fun they’re having out here.

Anecdotes and One Piece of Art

2008-09-26T15:05:00.001-05:00

Another fun and tiring week has gone by too quickly. It’s hard to believe that September is almost over already. Here are some of the things I’ve done since I last got my narcissism on up in this joint.

- As Ethan and I stood disappointed outside of the already-closed pizza joint that sells huge slices for cheap late last Thursday night, a homeless man approached us, pulled out a wad of cash and asked us to enter a nearby convenience store to purchase a 40 oz for him. When we informed him that neither of us are old enough to buy alcohol, he became really upset, yelled things like “bullshit” and “ya’ll keep playin’ these games, man” and stared at us angrily until we walked away.

For the record, Ethan is shorter than I am and he looks just as young as I do, if not younger. I am willing to buy into the idea that the two of us - when not completely clean-shaven - could somewhat reasonably be mistaken for +21 by a person who is always generous when estimating ages.

What I absolutely cannot fathom, despite the fact that it happened during this encounter, is the idea that anyone could ever be so sure that neither of us are younger than 21 that they would aggressively yell “bullshit” at us for telling them as much.

- I came up with and performed five different, very unconventional ways of sincerely attempting to apply roll-on deodorant.

- I wrote a script for the commercial that I thought a closet-racist, middle-aged, white advertising executive for Axe Body Spray would write if the company was making more of an effort to market its product to African-Americans. The two roles in it were written for and would (I hope) be played by Damon and Marlon Wayans, and I was sure to include a catch phrase from each. I haven’t really seen these guys doing much of anything in a long time, and I loved them together in Mo’ Money, so it seemed like the perfect fit.

- In the same class we created vaudeville pieces for, we were given the task of performing a silent film type of bit live on Wednesday. My group set our scene at a restaurant. We didn’t get very detailed beyond that, but we did attempt to choreograph a pie fight. It was complete chaos. There is video footage of our performance, but we’ve decided not to put it online, because it’s just not worth it, to be totally honest. You’ll probably still see it one day, assuming you and I ever hang out again (or for the first time if you’re a stranger who inexplicably found this blog but potentially wants to meet the author).

- Last week I wrote a “fish-out-of-water” sketch about a pretty normal guy who joins a couple of junkies at rehab and follows all of their terribly pathetic stories with tales of his own life. He considers these anecdotes to be horrible, when in actuality, they are ridiculously insignificant and trivial. The read-through went pretty well. One line (easily among the most disturbing thoughts I’ve ever committed to paper) resulted in a laughter/applause/groan break that led to probably a 30-second delay before the next line was delivered, which is pretty damn good in my book. I received some very helpful feedback and have every intention of reworking this script a little bit, polishing it up and hopefully having it performed somewhere someday.

- This week I wrote a “center-and-eccentrics” sketch about the summer I spent working at Spencer’s Gifts, way back in 2005. I basically just took the most memorable moments from my time there and consolidated them into one day. I made some minor tweaks here and there and exaggerated the way certain things occurred, but I’d still say it’s about 90-95% true. The read-through of it was just okay, which is what I was expecting. I got some good laughs here and there but the script definitely still needs work, so I’ll be polishing that one up too.

Last but most definitely not least, I know you all probably expect pictures and videos every time I post here now, and so I do have one photo for you.

Straight from the genius mind of Manager D-Rob, I am thrilled to share with you my computer’s wallpaper for the last month: the album cover for what will be the debut CD from Dem Homies Dat Keep It Gangsta But Also Like To Sew On The Weekends For Fun Productions.

I don’t know about you all, but it is my opinion that every single person in this country should own a T-shirt displaying this image. If I were voting in this election (I’m not because I’m good at taking my own advice; see previous post), I would probably just do a write-in vote for this album cover.

Vaudeville Videos

2008-09-19T14:00:00.004-05:00

This week has been very fun and very exhausting. I have a lot to get done this weekend.

I can't think of much to say right now so here's a little something something to keep you busy until the next time I update.

Remember that vaudeville assignment I wrote about earlier?

Mine and Michael's.

First and foremost, the original beat you hear was, of course, produced on GarageBand by B-Rabbit of Dem Homies Dat Keep It Gangsta But Also Like To Sew On The Weekends For Fun Productions.

Secondly, this is satire, so take it as such.

Third, I hate how off-beat we got on the hook. I swear to you we had it right in the limited amount of times we practiced the song before this presentation, but I guess we just got too hyper in front of our class and started rapping much faster than we needed to.

And now, for Jordan's piece, which I actually got a much bigger kick out of for some reason. As you can see, I had a bit of difficulty keeping a straight face throughout this performance.

Thanks for reading/watching. I'll holler at ya'll next week sometime.

Multimedia, Mofos

2008-09-14T18:15:00.004-05:00

Alright people. Enough of this making-you-read-what-I-have-to-say bullshit. It's picture time.

Sam and Jordan both uploaded all of their photos today and I just went through and stole what I felt were the best of the best. The only way I was able to get permission to use these pictures for this blog was by agreeing to credit every photo to the Associated Press. Watch me get sued.

Enjoy.